I mean, really?! How can it be that I will be forty years old in less than two months?
I’ve seen it coming for some time now. It started gradually enough.
Slowly, but surely, the daring nighties and satin bras took flight from their lavender paper lined home. The unmentionable drawer is now teeming with mammoth, cotton bloomers in shades of white, off white and gray (for those rare date nights). Bras are utilitarian these days– the farther they can keep the girls from pointing south, the better.
My Cosmopolitan and Glamour magazines have long been replaced with More, Prevention and other pubs geared toward the “older” generation. It just makes more sense to know the best way to great colon health than the most exciting public place for an intimate encounter. Those kinds of things left the radar after two kids anyway.
Also, I’m very happy to see that everyone is on a high-fiber-tons-of-grain bandwagon. Having a grocery cart filled with Fiber One Bars, Flaxseed, and triple-bran cereals isn’t quite so embarrassing these days. Strategically separating them in the cart between the shampoo, produce and pork rinds helps, too.
I’ve actually embraced the notion of being in a higher age bracket. It won’t be too much harder to bubble in the next option in questionnaires. At least I can still read them without the aid of reading glasses.
And I can still get around pretty well. Athletic Conditioning class at the Y has helped tremendously. And how many dangerously close to forty year olds do you know who can sprint, lift weights, jump rope, and run flights of stairs for a solid hour without puking? Okay, maybe most of the other people in my class – and probably most of the people who come to the Y. But that’s not my point.
My point is, even though I’m obviously older than I was twenty years ago. I’m actually stronger (even though the muscles are hidden under a layer or two of fluff). Being able to keep up with my kids on the playground, and sometimes beat them in a foot race, is an unbelievable feeling.
Yes, I’m almost forty. And I say “Yay!” to that. I’ve earned these wrinkles, and I display them proudly (plus, most of the creams and gels I’ve spent hundreds of dollars on over the years just don’t work!).
I’m blessed with an incredible family and exceptional friends who encourage, challenge and love me. I’m also closer to my Lord than I was twenty years ago. Sometimes growth has been a mere crawl, but I’m getting there.
I wouldn’t change being forty for anything. Okay, maybe one Friday night I’d like to stay up past midnight without having to hibernate for two days to make up for it. Other than that, I’m good.
So I’m counting down the days to my birthday, but not with fear and trepidation. I will greet it with a renewed sense of adventure for life. I vow to challenge myself spiritually, physically and mentally – even if that means running up an extra flight of stairs every now and then.
When my oldest daughter was three, she and I were strolling along the beach in search of shell treasures. It was December, and there didn’t seem to be much in the way of beautiful shells to be found. As we made our way down the steps to the beach, Peyton ran in excited anticipation to a large mound of broken shell pieces by the water’s edge. Carefully collecting a few, she scurried back to me clutching her treasures. “Look Mommy! I found a shell!”
Opening her hands, I saw an array of broken shards – some large, others small, but none resembling the shells they once were.
Taking advantage of that “teaching moment” and wanting to educate my daughter in the business of proper shell collecting, I quickly corrected her. “No, honey, that’s just a broken piece.” I quickly explained that there might be other whole shells worthy of picking up, even showing her some examples I found. “Oh,” she replied matter of factly. And she continued happily filtering through the pile, picking out more broken shells and placing them gently in her bucket.
As I watched her, the Lord gently spoke to me through the actions of my beautiful little girl. That’s how I see you. When others would ignore those pieces, discard them and see no value in them, I seek them out, tenderly pick them up and place them in the palm of My hand.
“..the Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” 1 Samuel 16:7
Just as my daughter saw those shells, My Father sees me.
Thank you, Lord, for salvaging my broken pieces. And thank you for those “teachable moments” – I pray I will be a better student.
My kids have always had a unique perspective of things. For example, sometimes when we get caught at a red light, instead letting out a loud sigh of frustration (like their mother often does), they squeal with delight. “Look mom, we’re first in line!” they shout.
When I’m perturbed that my daily schedule is all of five seconds off because of this unwelcome pause, my daughters rejoice at winning an invisible race of some sort. It’s interesting to me how the same event can prompt two entirely different responses.
I’m reminded of 1 Thessalonians 5:18 “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
God is God no matter what is going on around – or with us. Sickness, family strife, disappointments, and financial concerns – the list of difficult circumstances can sometimes be overwhelming. However, as Christians, we have the privilege of resting in Christ, and finding joy through our relationship with Him. We have a choice to accept that and rejoice in it, or wallow in our self-pity.
Today, I resolve to squeal with delight the next time I’m first in line for that red light. I pray you will, too!
The following blog is a reprint of an article I wrote published in Proverbs 31 Magazine (2004).
As parents, it is often difficult to keep from devoting every single ounce of energy to our children. When they are babies, we are responsible for caring for their every need. As they grow and become more independent, we are there to haul them to and from the myriad of activities they are involved in.
Unfortunately, as a result, sometimes our marriage relationship suffers. Sometimes we are so caught up in our kids; we wake up one day and wonder who this strange man is sleeping beside us (even if he isn’t snoring!).
One of the best pieces of marital advice my husband and I still hold to came from the pastor who married us, Reverend R.F. Smith. During our pre-marriage counseling, he asked us to hold hands forming a circle.
“When your children come along, where will they go in relationship to your circle?” he asked. Without hesitating, Joe and I pointed to the center of the circle. It seemed like the natural place for the children to go. Our pastor stepped into our circle as our “children”.
He then explained that at some point those children will go off to college, have careers and eventually form their own family. He stepped out of our circle to demonstrate, and we quickly realized our circle was empty.
“Here is a better alternative,” he continued as he joined hands with Joe and me forming a larger circle. “Make your children part of your circle, not the center of it. He stepped out of our circle and Joe and I joined hands once again. “Make God the center of your circle and it will never be empty.”
I am so thankful for that priceless advice - especially when Joe and I struggled through four years of infertility before conceiving our first daughter. After facing the possibility of never having our own children, it would have been very easy for us to make our children our “raison d’etre”.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:33 NIV)
And all these things will be given to you - including a loving, healthy, strong relationship with our husbands! Imagine a triangle with Jesus as the top point. Put you and your husband at the bottom two points. Now trace the path on each side to the top. It is unavoidable! If you and your husband are reaching for Jesus, you will get closer and closer to each other.
Yes, it is our responsibility as Christian parents to meet the needs of our children and to nurture them into godly young people. But by demonstrating to our kids a loving, Christ-centered marriage, our actions can teach them more than our words ever could.
Tags: Christian, Moms, parent, stay at home mom
Today’s post is a simple poem. I wrote it about 15 years ago. Wow, I’m old!
A Friend For Life
I saw an old friend of mine the other day.
It’s always good to see someone whom means something to you.
We caught up with events-
but time was short.
“Let’s stay in touch,” I said before we parted.
no paper to jot down a name and number,
only a pen…
and the palm of my hand
to bridge the gap between us.
It reminded me of meeting my Friend, Jesus.
I really mean something to Him.
He came to earth because time was short for those of us with no redemption.
“Let’s stay in touch,” He said before He died for our sins.
No paper to jot down a name or number.
Only a nail….
and the palm of His hand
to bridge the gap between us.
This was a devotion I wrote for Proverbs 31. I wanted to re-post it here because I needed to be reminded of what I need to learn! Hope it blesses you in some way.
1 Chronicles 29: 9a, “The people rejoiced at the willing response of their leaders, for they had given freely and wholeheartedly to the Lord.” (NKJ)
I’m somewhat of a “germ-o-phobe”. I rejoiced when the grocery store installed sanitizing wipes by the carts (so I didn’t have to use my own!). And if I can use a public facility without touching a single thing, I’m a happy camper.
One day, as Peyton (my eight-year-old daughter) and I were leaving the Target restroom, she did something remarkable. Without a word, she reached for a paper towel, and proceeded to use it to open the door so she wouldn’t touch the handle. I was so proud. All my “you never know how well other people wash their hands” speeches finally paid off.
I was reminded how kids really do emulate what they see – good or bad. Whether it’s obsessive compulsive behaviors or other things we do in our lives, we are teachers - plain and simple. Do our kids see us open our Bible very often? Do they hear us pray regularly? Do they see how we give our tithes and time back to God – through our church and to others in need?
King David is an excellent example for us to look at. In 1 Chronicles 29, we see that David gave his personal fortune to be used in the building of the temple – that was over and above everything he had already provided!
The leaders responded to their king’s actions (and to his challenge to them to do the same). “Then the leaders of families, the officers of the tribes of Israel, the commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds, and the officials in charge of the king’s work gave willingly.” (verse 6).
As a result, the example set by King David and his leaders was very well received by the people. They witnessed firsthand abundant, sacrificial giving, and responded by outright praise and rejoicing. What a wonderful picture of how we should give, and how we should respond.
If we make a concerted effort to include our children in our spiritual growth, we can be assured that the Lord will bless those efforts. For example, over the past few years I’ve become an “out loud” pray-er and praiser. Sometimes it’s a quick prayer of healing or comfort for victims of a car accident we pass. Other times it can be a loud praise song in the middle of my kitchen.
Just when I least expected it, my daughter once again showed me she was watching. She was playing with her Barbie doll in the back seat of the car one day. “Hey look Mommy,” she called to me. I glanced back from the passenger’s side. She had her dolls arm up. “Oh, is Barbie waving to me?” I inquired. “No.” she replied, a little put out by my poor observation skills. “She’s praising.”
Thank you Lord!
There have been plenty of times, though, I’ve been a very poor example for my children. Through my impatience and critical nature, I give them many examples of how not to act. However, I can rejoice in the knowledge that my children will also see when I get it right.
My Prayer For Today:
Lord, I pray that through my example, my children can learn the importance of giving ourselves wholeheartedly to You. Help me to always remember to follow Your lead. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
A friend of mine recently forwarded me an interesting link. It was one where you find out your birth verse. “Birth verse” consists of 366 verses chosen from the 66 books of the Bible. Each verse correlates the chapter and verse with its month and day. To find your verse, you simply plug in your birth month and date, and there you go.
I have to admit, I was a bit skeptical. Dare I say, sarcastic? I was half expecting mine to be something like Joel 2:2 - “….a day of darkness and gloom, a day of clouds and blackness. Like dawn spreading across the mountains a large and mighty army comes, such as never was of old nor ever will be in ages to come.” Or maybe it would be a super long verse that I would never be able to commit to memory. Brain cells diminish somewhat after college and kids, you know.
So, with a slight bit of trepidation, I plugged in my info. I was pleased. My verse wasn’t a minor prophet warning or a novella. It was perfect.
Luke 5:26 NIV
Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said, “We have seen remarkable things today.”
I look at my verse often, and each time I try and think of a different way it applies to me. Sometimes, it reads the same. Other times, it moves me to prayer. Most times it makes me laugh at myself, and reminds me that my skepticism should really take a back seat most days. Maybe then I’ll have a better view of the remarkable things I’ve been missing.
One of my absolute favorite things about getting to do book signings is getting to meet people I don’t know yet. I love sharing stories of family, comparing favorite books, and discovering how much we have in common with one another.
One theme that continues to bless me is genuine encouragement from complete strangers. Even if someone has no interest in buying a children’s book, many times they will take the time to stop and say “Congratulations!” or “Good for you!” before heading to the travel or news section.
At one signing, I had the pleasure of meeting an older widow with no children (she had explained why she wasn’t buying a book). I learned she had been an acclaimed opera singer, her husband had worked for the government, and that they had traveled all over the world during their marriage. She encouraged me to continue to pursue my dream, and wished me success in future ventures. A while after she left my table, she returned with a cafe mocha. “I thought you might need a pick-me-up this time of the afternoon,” she explained.
I thanked her profusely. I hope she knows how much her coffee and conversation meant to me.
Many times I look at my two daughters, ages eight and five, and marvel at the miracle of life. As most mothers, I feel extremely blessed to be in the “mommy club”. However, sometimes I even weep with thankfulness, and my heart tenders at the thought of women struggling through infertility. I will always remember the four long years in my life when I faced the same struggle.
At our first attempts at conceiving, even after the first year, we were hopeful that it was just “normal” for most couples to take a little longer. As the second and third year crept by with no results, our hopes seemed to diminish with each negative pregnancy stick.
During our fourth year, we decided to seek medical help and proceeded to begin a roller coaster ride of fertility treatments like many shots, a laparoscopy, several exams and other things I’d rather have my knee drained than go through again.
The most frustrating thing was, after all that, there was no real “physical” reason we couldn’t have a child. He was fine, I was fine – so what was the problem?
Oh, we prayed – obviously for a child. But we also prayed for God’s will – even though it was a half-hearted prayer. What if God’s will was for us not to have children? We tried to keep a stiff upper lip when all our friends were easily popping out kids left and right. It was a little harder, though, when during conversations, those friends complained incessantly about their children and seemed not to care that just two seconds ago I just shared our latest “not pregnant yet” news.
But with those sad times, there were also many, many women who came into my life who, miraculously, were going through the same thing. My dear friend who adopted two little girls from China was always there with encouraging words and helpful insight as to the medical aspect of infertility. And another friend who was experiencing infertility at the exact same time as me always had a shoulder wet with my tears – and mine with hers. And of course, my sister, though 5 ½ hours away, was a constant encouragement to me. I’m sure her ear was warm for hours after many of my rantings over the phone lines!
In November 1999, after our fifth in utero insemination, we decided we had gone as far as we could. I think at that point we finally gave it to God and just said “whatever You have for us, we’re open to it”. Maybe there was a little girl in China who needed us. Maybe we needed to be free from parental responsibilities to pursue missions full time. We didn’t have a clue, but accepted that kids might not be in our future.
On January 2, 2000, God finally gave us an answer. His answer was “It’s MY timing, not yours”, His answer was “Trust in Me”. Imagine that, I was pregnant without the drugs, without the shots, and without the procedures.
Through that experience, I learned many things. One of the most important things I learned is reflect in 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.”
God never wastes a hurt. If we let Him, He can use it so we can minister to others. Just as He sent people to minister to me through my struggle with infertility, I try to do the same for others. It reminds me of that “pay it forward” concept. When someone helps us in a time of need, shouldn’t we pass that blessing on to someone else? When we’ve experienced a trial firsthand, and were carried through on the prayers of saints, we should be those praying, hand-holding saints for others.
I’m amazed at how many times I’ve come across a woman going through the exact struggle I experienced. I try to always remember how it felt, so I can be effective in my encouragement and prayer.
We may not always understand why “bad things happen to good people” – especially when those “people” are us. However, when we allow God in to help us work through those times, our heartbreaks today can be blessings for others tomorrow.
Today I had a stick of Wrigley’s Spearmint gum for the first time in a long time. I discovered two things. First, if you chew a piece right after you have eaten celery, it tastes a bit like licorice.
The next thing I discovered was how quickly a long forgotten taste can immediately transport you to another place in time. As I chewed my Wrigley’s Spearmint gum, I was no longer in my own van, but in my parents’ station wagon on the way to church. I guess that was the only time we got that flavor of gum.
It made me think of how often a simple scent can make you think of a person, place or event. For example, every time I smell Play Doh, I think of the Lord’s prayer. As a child, we learned the prayer in Sunday School, and that room always smelled like Play Doh. I can almost smell the wood of the tables, too. By the same token, many times when I say the Lord’s prayer, I think of Play Doh. I know - not very religious of me, but it’s true.
The power of scent is an interesting thing to me. Pine equals winter. Brackish water puts me on the bridge to the South Carolina island where we vacation. Burnt popcorn is the office I used to work in. The scent of leather and hay place me in my grandfather’s barn saddling up a horse to ride.
If I could bottle these things, I probably would. But then if I did, I wouldn’t be able to be happily surprised when those scents snuck up on me to brighten my otherwise boring day.
