The other day, my daughters and I were milling around in the kitchen, talking. During the conversation, I complimented my ten-year-old on some aspect of her facial features. Now, those of you who know me pretty well know I don’t often like to focus on outer beauty. For those of you who don’t know me, here’s an earlier post of mine to shed some light on that.
After I said, “You have pretty eyes” – or whatever feature I commented on, my 13-year-old remarked: “You realize, you are just basically complimenting yourself!” (The standing joke in our house is that my youngest is the spitting image of me.) Without missing a beat, and with great (joking) dramatic flair, I responded “Yeah! Cause I’m GORGEOUS!”
We got some stupid giggles from it.
I was just about to open my mouth and say something like “But I totally don’t think I’m gorgeous or anything” and probably proceed to pick apart every aspect I dislike about my appearance, when my self-filter actually kicked in – which is rare! I’m so thankful it did.
My kids hear a lot from me all the time about how important it is how you act – not what you look like. It’s the state of your heart, not the state of your face you need to worry about, so to speak. While I want them to be humble of heart, I also want them to be confident, too. I want them to be so confident that, no matter what external qualities they may or may not possess, they will stand tall.
It’s like this. These poor kids have seen me at my worst – ugly crying watching the first fifteen minutes of the movie “Up”; in the morning without my makeup on; and red-faced and stinky after a long run. It is not a pretty sight, ya’ll. Lawd.
In my opinion, it doesn’t matter how other people see me. It’s how God sees me, and how I view myself. I have enough confidence not care much what others think about me. Now, that doesn’t mean I’ll show up at Wal-Mart wearing my pajama pants anytime soon (though I have been tempted).
It does mean I will boldly pursue what captures my heart or my fancy without much care if people think I’m silly or awkward doing so. Because the truth is – I know I’m silly and awkward. The fact that I serve a God who can make good from all my goofiness is where my confidence comes from after all.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
What would you go out and do today if you could shed the fear of what others might think of you? If you feel comfortable sharing, please do! If you’re a journal keeper (it’s never too late so start!), make a “wish list”. Ask God for confidence – He is faithful!
I love the qualities instilled in this blog.. So many people judge a book by its cover.. I have been one to shoot myself down and downplay my accomplishments in life.. My daughter,Allie, has never had this problem, but KK does the same thing I have done.. She downplays her accomplishments.. I need to work on that aspect of my life.. Your children truly learn from watching you.. Btw, I love the blog 🙂
Thanks, Michelle. I know what you mean. We seem to be our own worst critics most of the time! You have a lot of reasons to be confident, girl!
I have to work so hard at this! People are always saying that my girls look just like me (in front of them) and I am tempted to apologize to them and assure them that they are MUCH prettier than me. I have to bite my tongue to keep from doing it. Being ok with who I am is a work in progress for me.
You should do what my mom always did/does. When someone says I look like her (it happens all the time!), she looks at me and says “Say ‘Thank you!'” Now that’s confidence! 🙂 I’ve caught myself doing the same thing you’re talking about, though. Why is it so easy for us to tear ourselves down, yet so hard to pay ourselves a compliment once in awhile?
Great blog Kristy!! Thanks for sharing.
I would talk to more people about my hidden struggles in an effort to encourage others who might be struggling with similar situations. But I don’t because of stigma and I have experienced this far too much. I’m not necessarily concerned for my sake, but for the sake of my kids. Neighbors, other parents and even other kids would likely treat my family differently….sometimes lack of awareness and stigma can really make people pass judgment unnecessarily.
People can be stupid and unkind, that’s for sure. My prayer for you is that you will be surrounded by a large group of people who encourage you and lift you up without judgement. Also, pray for opportunities to share your story with those who need to hear it. Chances are – those people won’t be the ones to judge, but need to hear they aren’t the only ones going through it. I’ll be praying for you, too!
Love to read your blog! Enjoyed this post. As you know, I don’t really struggle with “self esteem” or care a whole lot what others think, but some people I really care about do struggle. Thank you for the reminder. XOXO
Thank you, Karen! I love your energy and confidence. You are such a light!